You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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