Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
