She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
