didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
