The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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