Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
