I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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