No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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