**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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