Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
