Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
