she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
