Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

You mean inside out.

(302): View more from Delaware

No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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(302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3

Replies (20) Good night (7752) Bad night (1127)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.

(1-301): View more from Maryland

I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.

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(301): Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me. (1-301): I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom. http://tfl.nu/1oh9

Replies (39) Good night (3360) Bad night (812)
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(718): View more from New York

I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.

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(718): I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide. http://tfl.nu/8m3e

Replies (6) Good night (4525) Bad night (807)
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(760): View more from California

Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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(760): Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin. http://tfl.nu/jqr4

Replies (22) Good night (778) Bad night (5287)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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(630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z

Replies (14) Good night (4642) Bad night (798)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date??? http://tfl.nu/obkl

Replies (30) Good night (6533) Bad night (1329)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.

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(828): Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy. (1-828): Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid. http://tfl.nu/eif0

Replies (8) Good night (774) Bad night (3681)
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(206): View more from Washington

puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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(206): puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/vlbj

Replies (36) Good night (976) Bad night (4466)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.

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(617): just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil. http://tfl.nu/drc4

Replies (13) Good night (7660) Bad night (1555)
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(440): View more from Ohio

It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

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(440): It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night http://tfl.nu/ffc5

Replies (17) Good night (1177) Bad night (2509)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.

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(630): I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive. http://tfl.nu/thwy

Replies (13) Good night (975) Bad night (765)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.

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(216): I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote. http://tfl.nu/863q

Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (498)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK

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(717): HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK http://tfl.nu/wvyd

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (284)
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(904): View more from Florida

I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"

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(904): I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?" http://tfl.nu/r5s7

Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (193)
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(561): View more from Florida

I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will

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(561): I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will http://tfl.nu/x78m

Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (135)

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