1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
