you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no