Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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