i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
