I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
