soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
