NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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