note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
