You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
