A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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