Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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