He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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