Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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