Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize