Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
