I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
