what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it's like iHOP with fire
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think your dad took our porno
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
