Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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