ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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