The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
