Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
