You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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