OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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