I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
