We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
