I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
