My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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