if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
