is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my sisters under your porch take her home
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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