Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
two words...techno handjob
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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