I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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