your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
