Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
