I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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