using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Randomize
