she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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