he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
