That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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