Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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