Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
