If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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