There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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