i think my tv is drunk
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
