She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
