I got chris browned last night
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
