well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Shame - the story of my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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