Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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